The day that changed our lives forever

We had just gotten home from a fun trip to Lake Yuba for the 24th with our family. It was an amazing trip and I'm so grateful that we got to share the last weekend of our "normal" life with them. We got home at about 4 PM and the kids had both fallen asleep on the drive. So chase carried Liv inside and layed her on the couch and I carried Ryker inside up to his bed. We were all exhausted after the long weekend in the sun. Chase and I started to unpack the car and bring the bags and camping stuff inside when I noticed that it was soaking wet under Livi. We left the campground in plenty of time for her swim suit to be dried, so I went over and checked and it was pee. If you know Liv you know that she has been potty trained since she was 2 and has NEVER had an accident, NEVER. So I was a little puzzled, got her changed and she was still sleepy so I put her in my bed. Then Ryker woke up about an hour later and Livi was still sound asleep. I fed Ryker dinner, put him in the tub then got him in jammies.

I went to go wake Livi up so I could do the same for her and she had another accident in my bed. I really really started to become puzzled at this point. She did not want to wake up so I pretty much put her in the bath and dressed her while she was sleeping.....She was not happy with me. She also had a fever of 101.5, and complaining about an ear ache. She had been to the Doctor two weeks before this for an ear infection and just finished her antibiotic I just thought maybe the antibiotic didnt do its job, I'll just call the Dr in the morning and get her back in. I put her in her bed and went down stairs. That night she woke up screaming. She had had another accident. OK SERIOUSLY.....I am in shock at this point. I wake Chase up and start freaking out telling him that something was wrong with her and that I needed to get her in ASAP. (Chase and I had often gotten in arguments because he thinks I take the kids to the dr for no reason, but this time he agreed with me that something was wrong.)

The next morning Alivia slept in till probably 10, then I put her in the bath where she cried the entire time. She was saying her ear hurt and behind her ear hurt too. I called the Dr and they couldnt get her in till 3. So I went about my normal day while Livi was wondering around crying or crashing to sleep on the couch. I went and got my nails done and chase had gotten home early from work that day and stayed with Liv so I didnt take her with me. (I get my nails done at my aunts house and I usually always take the kids) I got home just in time and rushed Liv down to provo for her appointment. We got called back and went into the room where they weigh and see how tall the kids are and take their temp. They were really full that day so we just stayed in there but there was a table and chairs in there so it wasnt a big deal. I told the Dr her symptoms and he thought she had spinal meningitis so he sent us over to Utah Vally Hospital.

When we got there we got sent up to the 4th floor where they admitted us and got Liv all hooked up to an IV then sent us down for a CT scan to see if there was any fluid around her brain. (because behind her ear was hurting thats what they had decided) Shortly after her Dr came from his office and started doing more tests. He asked me a bunch of questions but among them he asked if we had any history of cancer in our family. My heart dropped, not only is it hard to talk about but why would he be asking such a question? Yes, my cousin had died in 2002 from AML at age 12. He patted me on the shoulder and said ok and left the room. By this time my mom, dad, and Chase were all there with us. I felt like moosh, what was happening??

A few minutes past and he came back in. He had the results from her blood test. I dont even remember the numbers but her white count was through the roof and her platelets and red blood count was at an all time low. Oh my gosh, I knew exactly what he was talking about. Tyson had the same thing happen to him. This is what they told his parents when they found his cancer, was this really happening? This cant happen, not to us, not twice in this family, Your wrong, check again...all these things were racing through my mind but I couldnt find words to say anything. Then he said they were only 85 % certain and they wanted to put her in an ambulance and take her to Primary Childrens where they have Oncologists that can give me a more certain answer. I went out in the hall and was completely numb. A nurse came walking by and let me go into an empty room and my mom followed and I had nothing to say, I was just numb. When I got enough of myself back I walked out of the empty room and her Dr was standing right outside. He asked if we had insurance because they wanted to life flight her to Primary Childrens. Her red blood count was so low that she needed a transfusion right now. It still hadnt hit me. I was waiting for them to tell me we were in that 15%, that she didnt really have it. So we waited, my dad kept telling me to tell the Dr that we had been boating all weekend and maybe that had something to do with it, just over and over and over. My dad, not being an emotional man this was his way of caring so much but he couldnt show it any other way. The life flight people came to take my daughter, I wasnt allowed to go in the helicopter with her. I asked the nurse that was going on the plane with her where I was supposed to go, she told me the ICS Unit and if I couldnt remember that, just to ask for the cancer kids unit. Thats when it hit me, hard. My daughter is going to the cancer kids unit.

These are the only pictures I got that day, saying goodbye was so hard, I didnt understand at all why I wasnt allowed to go with her. Standing on the ground while they flew away with my baby girl I was literally in shock, and started balling histarically, but I bucked enough to walk to my car and somehow drive home and get somethings packed for who knows how long we were going to be at the hospital and make the drive to Primary Childrens. I didnt know how I was going to drive, I was shaking so hard, I couldnt breath and I couldnt stop sobbing. But I had to do it! I got in my car and just sat there for what seemed like forever and started the drive home without my daughter.